The Loquacious Lout

There lives in the suburban jungle of southeast Michigan, a man of great insignificance. A man who is so notoriously pathetic that children speak of him only in between the gales of laughter that fill the air when he strolls past. He is such a superb example of a"loser" that Merriam Webster once requested his photo to use as a visual representation of the word in their dictionary.

But despite being renowned as a schmuck, this man moves through life deaf to the scornful comments of passersby and blind to the mocking antics of co-workers. He is securely ensconced in a state of insensibility to the world's opinion of him.(Would we not all wish to be so fortune to be blessed with such a magnificent talent?)

Why you may ask, is this man worth words? Why am I writing of him if he is such an abject failure as a man?

I write of him because this man of such negligible intelligence, athletic ability and charisma, speaks so highly of himself that one would think they were talking to a Renaissance Man. Few in the course of history equal this man's talent for self-delusion.

His perception of himself is at such odds with the reality of who he actually is, that one can scarcely prevent themself from breaking out in howls of laughter when he goes on one of his monologues about his alleged illustrious past.

This is a man of middle age who has resided with his parents for the past decade, has filed for bankruptcy twice, been conned out of money by the the Nigerian bank scam, saw his account debited for one hundred million dollars, and who routinely makes bigoted statements about homosexuals, blacks, and muslims. Does this sound like a man who has done much with his life?

When one listens to the ramblings of this nincompoop, they can only quietly wait for the end of the vacuous spiel, for to interject is to invite a torrent of inane comments that will lengthen the suffering of the listener.

How can one argue with someone who thinks illegals should be shot? Who believes that only blacks were descended from apes ? Who reads an article on Global Warming and declares it fraudalent as if he is some sort of expert on the subject though he only has a high school education?

To augment his exceptional ignorance, is the Lout's amazing inability to respect and consider the merits of opinions that differ from his own. Dumb in his case describes both his intellectual AND listening ability.

From the Loquacious Lout's mouth, come many words. But from those many words come very little of value.