A Conversation with an Idiot

(This fictional conversation IS based on a real person. The words are made up, but the essence of the man is the same.For privacy sake, I have given the subjects different names. WARNING: CUSS WORDS!!!!!!!)

The conversation is taking place in the dark, dank basement of a universally renowned health care facility.Cliff--the Idiot---is holding forth on a variety of subjects. Surrounding Cliff are several co-workers who had the misfortune to be dragged into the irresistable Black Hole that is Cliff.

Cliff: Hey,, hey, did you know that oranges were originally purple? I've been reading up on it. They found some DNR of some old oranges that tells them that they were purple.

Arnold: Where did you read this?

Cliff: On the internet.

Dan: DNR? You mean DNA?!

Cliff: Yeah, that.I know alot about DNA. I been reading up alot on DNA. The moonaluctides and all that jazz. It takes an unignorant person to know this stuff.

Freddy:It sounds like it.(rolling eyes)

Cliff: I do know alot. Don't question me you ape's ass!

Arnold: Calm down, Cliff. No need to get your panties in a bunch.

Cliff: Hey, I'll defend myself against assholes, that you can count on.

Cliff: Speaking of assholes, did you see the show about elephants on Discovery? They showed these two elephants fucking. Man, it reminded me of my old girlfriend. It brought back memories of me working that ass all night....

Arnold: Dude, shut the fuck up. No one wants to hear about you banging your girlfriend.

Cliff: I was a stud when I was younger. I was buff and I wore these tight jeans that hugged my butt. Man, you should have seen me with the ladies. They were all over me.

Freddy: Oh, boy.(sighing in disbelief)

Cliff: SHUT THE HELL UP FREDDY! I WAS A LADY'S MAN! YOU ARE BEING IGNORANT WITH YOUR STUPID WORDS!

Arnold: Cliff, calm down. You don't want Angie to come back here do you?

Cliff:I'm not scared of that hairy bitch. Just because she is our supervisor that don't mean she can push me around. I'm not afraid of her or anyone here, you can count on that!

Dan: Did you guys hear what happened between Angie and Mark? They got into it something fierce. I heard she threatened to send Mark home.

Freddy: Angie does that shit all the time. She whips out the "I'll send you home" threat all the damn time. That bitch needs to shut the fuck up.

(Everyone shakes their head in approval of Freddy's statement)

Cliff: Hey, hey, did you guys hear about this lady who could crush cans with her tits? Size DDF I hear. Man, what a babe!

Freddy: Sounds lovely.

Cliff: I dated this chick who had the nicest rack I have ever seen. These tits were so round...
(Cliff has position his hands as one would hold melons)

Arnold: Settle down, big boy. Save the x-rated details for your beer buddies.

Freddy:Changing subjects, did you guys see Obama on the television last night?

Cliff: Obama is a Communist. He is trying to destroy this country with his communism. These commies need to go.

Freddy: Obama is not a communist, he may have socialist tendencies, but he is not a commun---

Cliff: Bullshit. Obama is a believer in Groucho Marx and John Lenin..

Freddy: You mean Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin?

Cliff: Doesn't matter. He hates Jesus because he is an atheist, faggot lovin', commie.Obama is destroying this country.

Arnold: I wouldn't say----

Cliff: Don't be ignorant. Obama is going to take away our freedom. We are going to be a socialist country.

Freddy: Don't your parents receive Medicaid and social security?

Cliff: Yeah, so?

Freddy: That is socialism, Cliff.They are being supported by the government.

Cliff: No...well... I guess...(Cliff's rant sputters out)

(To be continued at some future date)